Welcome back, friends! After a short hiatus, I’m back and bringing you some of the social media happenings from the Bravosphere this week. While I normally like to give a little variety, given that it’s Real Housewives of New Jersey premiere week, I’m just going to focus on our favorite garlic-guzzling cast. And trust me when I say, even without it being a premiere week, these Real Housewives (and husbands) always deliver on their social media. Let’s get to it!
Joe Gorga Goes Deep
One of my guiltiest pleasures on Instagram is Joe Gorga’s account. His content is, how should I say this…unique. In a “what on earth are you saying” kind of way. I could feature him every week but I’m not sure you guys are ready.
Joe likes to make up his own quotes, although they always sound very familiar. Sort of like the old adages that your NanNan can never quite remember correctly. But she’s so close! Accompanied by pictures of himself, which are regularly duplicated, Joe seems to genuinely fancy himself as the Socrates of New Jersey. And as Socrates once said, “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”
In his latest post, Joe shares, “Don’t assume that loud is strong and quiet is weak. The fiercest storms rise from the calmest seas.” That little truth nugget is featured in all caps font over a picture of him resting his chin in his hand. Very similar to Rodin’s famous statue, The Thinker. Which seems apropos, no?
So is Joey Meatballs one of the greatest inspirational minds of the modern era? Probably not. But does he constantly provide me head scratchers that are meant to be meaningful thoughts? Absolutely. With that said, doesn’t a storm dictate the currents of the ocean and not the other way around? Like Joe ends almost all of his posts: #thoughts?
Raise Your Glass To Juicy
Despite being Teresa Giudice’s EX-husband, Juicy Joe Giudice continues to be a RHONJ legend in his own right. He’s not featured on the show anymore and was kicked out of the country. But by all accounts, he seems to be living his best life in the Bahamas.
One fan witnessed this first hand when she bumped into him at a watering hole on the tropical island. A TikTok user, emily.m.harris, posted a video of her toasting some shots with a tanned Juicy. She wrote over her video, “Whoever’s writing my script this season I just wanna say thanks for including taking shots with Joe Giudice in the Bahamas.”
The post got over 45k likes and nearly 500 comments, mostly from those who were insanely jealous. One user commented, “I love him. He is king.” Another added, “How does it feel to be living my dream” in all caps. While this might not be my dream, clearly it’s the dream of many. Which just goes to show you how Juicy might be gone, but is never forgotten. Cheers.
RELATED: Joe Giudice Claims He And Joe Gorga “Always Got Along” In The Past
The 90s Called And They Want Dolores Catania Back
Listen, I truly am happy for Dolores Catania. After spending what felt like an eternity waiting around for her ex to text her back, she has finally found happiness. With someone who actually wants to hang out with her! Enter Irish import Paul “Paulie” Connell, who we got to meet on the RHONJ premiere.
I did a little social media “research” on this leprechaun come to life and he is very enamored with Dolores. His Instagram features plenty of Dolo and his latest post might be the most over the top declaration of love for his Jersey Girl.
In a video montage of Dolores wearing a fuzzy brown crop top and matching skirt, Paulie repeatedly zooms in and out on…..her eyeballs. Ok, so it’s not a cinematic experience. And a few pictures of her with closed eyes even work their way in, although it’s unclear if it was intentional or not. Did I mention that the whole video was set to the 1991 EMF classic “Unbelievable?” Well, believe it!
Ok, Paulie might be on the corny side. But at least he’s present in their relationship. Nay, not just present but invested. Because any man willing to spend the time making a video love letter to his girlfriend is worth more than a pot of gold. Or a pint of Guinness.
Speaking Of The 90s….
Ok, it’s at this point that I realize I have given you all house husband content. And I do apologize, but my RHONJ main cast has been giving nothing but promos all week. And I need more from them. Melissa Gorga hasn’t even posted a picture of her without pants on. Oh wait, yes she did.
But it’s a fun fact about newbie housewife Rachel Fuda that caught my attention on Twitter. One of my favorite accounts, bravo by betches, tweeted out a picture of Rachel. With the tidbit that Rachel is the first housewife to be born in the 90s. 1991, as Rachel pointed out in her first episode.
This makes Rachel a whopping 25 years younger than her castmate Margaret Josephs. If Marge was Lenny Hochstein, she would surely be dating Rachel by now! All this to say that Rachel is what I would consider fresh gabagool meat when it comes to Real Housewives. And we all know that our more mature housewives rarely take to the younger versions of themselves.
Will Rachel be the exception to the rule? Or will she be run over like roadkill on the Jersey Turnpike? Has she even heard of the book Cop Without a Badge? Unclear. But I’m excited for her to learn important lessons like to always RSVP no to a Posche fashion show. And to never, ever, under any circumstances, tell Teresa to pay attention. Good luck, kiddo!
Arrivederci!
[Photo Credit: Santiago Felipe/Getty Images]
