The Bachelorette Recap: Emily Picks Her Final Four

Last week on the Bachelorette, Emily Maynard said goodbye to Travis Pope (egg guy) and Ryan Bowers (sweet talker) in Croatia.  This week, Emily wants us to believe she handles her own luggage as she and the remaining suckers suitors head to Prague.  Chris Harrison meets the men in Prague to remind them this is the the last set of dates before the hometown dates.  Also, he explains how this week is going to go down.  There will be three one-on-one dates and one group date.  There will be a rose up for grabs on the group date but not on the one-on-one dates.

The six remaining bachelors are Arie Luyendyk Jr., John Wolfner, Chris Bukowski, Doug Clerget, Jef Holm, and Sean Lowe.  The first date goes to Arie.  The date card reads, “Let’s Czech out Prague together.”  Emily’s date outfit is interesting – knee-high boots, Ricki’s bedazzled shorts, button up shirt that she forgot to finish buttoning, and a suit jacket.  Out of the blue, Emily lets us know she knows something about Arie but he doesn’t know she knows. Very soon after this revelation it’s painfully obvious that Emily is going to resort to passive aggressive hints for most of the date rather than talking to Arie about what she knows.  Very mature, Emily.

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Chris Harrison interrupts the date to explain.  The truth Emily now knows about Arie is that he had a brief relationship with a Bachelorette producer.  Up until now, Arie hasn’t mentioned this to Emily.  Emily talks to the producer on camera.  As I watch, I cannot help but to think Emily should be more concerned about the state of her roots.  After a big to-do, Chris explains that Arie, Emily, and Cassie, the producer, sat down, off camera, to discuss the big bad deception of Princess Emily.  Emily eventually comes to her senses, realizing Arie is way too good of a kisser to hold this against him.  It’s all old news before even I mentally add up four dates and special breaking news via Chris Harrison in my head and frantically check my DVR to see just how long this episode is going to be.  Thankfully, despite all the extras, it’s still only two hours.  Whew.

Back to the date, Arie admits to Emily that he’s in love with her.  They spend the rest of the night making out on a boat.   Cassie who?  

The next date goes to John.  It reads, “In Prague, all you need is love.”  Chris, the drama queen of the week, is not happy about John’s name being on that card.  Walking the streets of Prague, Emily and John come to the fence of eternal love locks.  They try to put their own lock there but they have trouble.  Emily isn’t feeling much of a connection with John, so it’s fitting.

The third date card arrives addressed to Sean, Doug, and Chris and reads, “Let’s find our happily ever after.”  This is not sitting well with Chris.  Chris has done nothing but whine about needing alone time with Emily.  He certainly does not want to go on a group date.  To push him further over the edge, John comes back from his “perfect” date totally confident that he and Emily made a connection.  Sean decides he’s not going to sit around, he’s going to find Emily.  Sean runs around the city of Prague yelling Emily’s name, and, golly, he finds her!

Chris, Sean, Doug, and Emily start their group date by squeezing into a horse-drawn carriage probably meant for two.  One of the worst group dates ever!  Chris pouts and Doug acts like a creeper the whole time.  Doug seems way more excited about being in a real tower than spending time alone with Emily. Doug has all the right words but barely acts interested in Emily physically. Emily takes the creeper outside.  It’s obvious to everyone but Doug that she’s trying to let him go nicely.  Dumb as a doorknob Doug gives Emily a peck on the lips as she’s talking.  “Um, thank you for that,” she says. Finally getting to the point, Emily tells Doug he’s going home.”I feel really stupid for kissing you just now,” he says.  As you should, Doug.  Doug gives Emily the one-armed “hey buddy” hug and says to her, “Have a good one.”  Deep down, I think Doug is a serial killer.  He’s very awkward and weird and creepy.

The group date is now a two-on-one date.  When Chris finally gets alone time with Emily, he gives her a hard time about not getting a one-on-one date.  He says, “Well, I’m not going to dwell on it.”  Yeah, okay, Chris.  Emily extends the date’s rose to Sean. Chris is beyond mad and acting like a child.

The last one-on-one date is for Jef.  The date card reads, “This is your chance to pull at my heartstrings.”  Jef and Emily play with puppets.  They use their puppets to reenact the time they’ve spent together up to that point.  To show the first night, Jef shakes his puppets knees nervously.  Emily’s puppet chases after Jef, saying, “Hey, Jef, want to talk?”  Jef’s puppet, “Thanks but no thanks.”  So funny.  Jef uses his puppet to share some big feelings with Emily.  He says, “This whole thing has blown my wildest dreams out of the water.  I am one million percent in love with you and I can’t even imagine what I would do without you in my life.  Can we… get a dog together?”

The real Emily and the real Jef kiss.

Emily and Jef have a very real conversation about life, marriage, and kids.  Hands down, it’s one of the most touching and genuine scenes from the entire season.   Jef tells Emily he’s head over heels for her, and then, just to keep everyone on their toes, he says,  “I want to date you so hard and marry the f#@k out of you.”

Going into the cocktail party and rose ceremony, Chris regrets how he acted all week, especially when Emily gave the date rose to Sean instead of him.  He’s anxious to speak to Emily.  Meanwhile, so sad for Chris, Emily tells Chris Harrison that she doesn’t need a cocktail party because her decision is set.  Chris Harrison breaks the news to the men.  John is 100% sure he’s going to get a rose and Chris is 100% falling apart.

Emily offers roses to Jef and Arie. Chris is shaking.  Emily picks up the final rose… but before she speaks, Chris requests some alone time with Emily to tell her he’s ready to be the man she deserves.  Back to the rose, Emily offers it to Chris.  Emily sends John back to his wolf pack.

Next week, Emily will travel to the hometowns of Arie, Chris, Jef, and Sean.

TELL US – Do you think Emily should have sent Chris home instead of John?

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