I no longer dread Mondays thanks to the dear cast members of Southern Charm. Whether they are unpacking wedding gifts in the eleventh hour to host a dinner party or channeling their inner Knight Rider to escape a polo match, there is something mesmerizing about this crew. That said, while I love the light-hearted friendships and silly situations, the darkness that is starting to overshadow the show is sad. These are real people. Y’all know that…you follow them on social media! Let’s get started with last night’s recap, shall we?
As the charmers prepare for another day in the Holy City, Craig Conover is channeling his inner Ryan Serhant with his monochromatic shirt and tie combo. He’s hoping to beat JD into the office because HashtagNewCraig is a go-getter. Across town, Shepard “Shep” Rose is facetiming with his mom and relishing in being a home owner. Not only is he glad to not be bunking at Sullivan’s with Whitney Sudler-Smith, the ladies dig his home ownership. It makes Shep look like he’s got his shiz together…and that’s going to be important if he expects the city’s Board of Architectural Review to green light an above-ground pool and bar on his roof.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!
At Gentry, JD is impressed to see how bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Craig is on his first day. He doesn’t say anything outright, but he’s side-eyeing Craig’s slick professional look. JD explains that he usually keeps a spare change of jeans and work boots at the office in the event he has to go check out a job site or knock down a wall during construction. Wait, is JD kidding? Craig hopes so. Demolition? That news is only appeased by a late afternoon bourbon tasting.
Cameran Eubanks pops by Shep’s new digs and wonders how he’s spent his day. After being called out for sleeping so late, Shep opines that he only gets up early for surfing, skiing, duck-hunting, and sex; and thankfully with sex, he can go right back to bed afterwards. He offers up a Busch Lite and the duo discuss Shep reactivating his realtor’s license so that he and Cameran can start working together as buyers’ agents. Cameran is confident is Shep’s ability to convince any woman to sleep with him, and she hopes that his smoothness with the ladies translates into getting them to buy homes as well. Is this the perfect partner-Shep? I think so!
Speaking of houses, Kathryn Dennis calls Thomas Ravenel to share that she’s found some places closer to town. She’d like to move Kensie closer to town before their son is born. He agrees to discuss some potential rentals, and Kathryn reveals that she’s in his neighborhood so she’ll stop by soon…and ring goes the doorbell. Kathryn shows T-Rav a property that she’s already put down first month’s rent on but she’ll need a co-signer for the lease. Thomas counters that it’s about time Kathryn started to build up her credit. Cue the waterworks.
Kathryn doesn’t want his money for her, she just wants her kids to to not feel that the house they share with their mother is grossly inadequate compared to their dad’s digs. T-Rav sees through her ploy, but he calls her bluff. Certainly he’ll co-sign for her, especially if it means that his kids are so close he can see them whenever he wants. Kathryn’s tears are interrupted by a sharply arched brow. Did she just make a deal with the devil?
Grand dame Patricia Altschul is planning a flamingo soiree, and she’s enlisted a top wedding planner to pitch some ideas. Even his scarf fits the theme. Pat wants to showcase this party in an upcoming book she’ll be penning about how to host the most perfect events. The following day, Cameran and Danni are lunching with Shep (and hearing about his latest conquest) at my all time favorite place to eat in Charleston…Martha Lou’s. It’s a tiny but famous hole in the wall where a soul food genius, along with her daughters and granddaughters, fries the best chicken, bakes cake-like cornbread, and serves up perfect butter beans and mac and cheese on cafeteria trays. If you’re planning a visit, make sure to bring cash or checks as Martha Lou doesn’t take cards. As I plan on what I’m going to get for lunch tomorrow during a now necessary trip to Morrison Drive, Cameran and Shep fill in Danni on their latest plans to take over the Charleston real estate market. Danni can’t quite figure out which one hopes to be the rainmaker and which one plans to ride the coattails.
Landon Clements is golfing with her father, and the two exit the driving range to indulge in some Bloody Marys. Her dad inquires as to Landon’s game plan for an income, and she spouts off several ideas which have been exciting her of late. First up, she would love to open a members-only bourbon bar to weed out the college kids and retirees that are taking up too much space at the current downtown hot spots. That space would most definitely be featured in her online magazine about ladies who lunch and Southern gentlemen who sail and play polo. Landon’s father doesn’t want to stifle her dreams, but he reminds his daughter that she needs to focus on one idea and do it well. She agrees, and she believes that she could hone in on one certain project with a generous investment from dear ol’ dad. Her father reminds her that God watches over children and fools, and he’s confident his girl will land on her feet without his financial assistance. His unwillingness to fund her plans humbles Landon and she feels overwhelmed. It’s the first time she’s had to make it entirely on her own, and it’s both exciting and terrifying.
Now that Kathryn and T-Rav are back on speaking terms, she decides to question him as to why she hasn’t been invited to Patricia’s flamingo party. Jennifer Snowden “accidentally” spilled the beans about the upcoming fete, and Thomas promises to rally for her to snag a spot on the guest list. He knows it’s important for her to feel included, and he wants the mother of his children to be reintroduced to his social circle even if she did once chase him down an aircraft carrier. He’s not perfect either, right? Kathryn is grateful for his support.
Meanwhile, Craig needs Cameran to serve as a wingman as he shops for a promise ring for Naomie. New Craig is really changing his ways, huh? He’s even wearing jeans to work! Who is this guy? He ticks off the reasons why Naomie is the perfect girl for him, and he meets Cameran at a local jeweler to peruse some baubles. Craig appreciates that Cameran knows him and has been helpful in his personal growth, while Cameran balks at Craig’s $3K budget for a promise ring. She’s convinced that Craig realizes Naomie is so far out his league he needs to put down a hefty sum to lock her down.
True to his word, T-Rav heads to Montague to pander for Kathryn’s invitation to Patricia’s party. While Thomas acknowledges Southern women are well-versed in manners, pedigree, and breeding (is he getting a papered pooch from the animal loving Ms. Pat?), he recognizes that these qualities aren’t Kathryn’s strong suit. He’s hoping to appeal to Patricia’s charitable nature, and he awaits her arrival once Michael the Butler shows him to the sitting room. Donned in a scarlet caftan, Patricia glides in as T-Rav requests a screwdriver and gifts his hostess with the world’s largest candle. Pat feigns appreciation (you know Michael read her mind, bringing her the perfect martini and trashing the fire hazard) as Thomas spouts off Kathryn’s insecurities and her devastation over not making the flamingo event’s guest list. He hates to see the mother of his children suffering because of avoidable stress. Patricia sticks to her guns. Since when does missing a party cause undue stress? Shouldn’t she be staying home with her toddler and resting in her last trimester? As much as he wants to, Thomas can’t argue with that rationale, so instead he transitions into complimenting Patricia on her brownest of brown eyes. Pat-one, T-Rav-zero. You know he’s kicking himself for bringing that damn candle!
In Aiken, Thomas is hosting a family day of polo playing, revelry, and day drinking…only he forgot to relay that last part to his baby mama when he invited her out for the day in hopes of getting to spend more time with his daughter. JD and Elizabeth are looking forward to seeing their goddaughter as it’s been far too long. In Moncks Corner, Jennifer arrives at Kathryn’s house in her new Maserati. What? Seriously, Bravo? Kathryn wrangles Kensie’s car seat into the Maserati (yes, it’s really a thing), and Jennifer drives off to the family day. The girls lament all the driving in Kathryn’s future. Did she just say she and T-Rav are taking a road trip to Brooklyn? Jennifer wonders if the couple will share a bed, but she’s met with a gag-me-with-a-spoon response from her friend. Kathryn is willing to do whatever is necessary to ensure that Thomas signs on the dotted line when it comes to her new I’On lodging…just not that.
JD and his wife Elizabeth are hopeful that spending the day with Kathryn will allow them back in their goddaughter’s life. They both want happier times for the pair, but Kathryn plans to keep her distance. She’s wary of folks who were couple friends with her and Thomas, and she perceives them as having sided with Thomas in the break-up. Arriving at the polo field, Kathryn is on the verge of a full-on anxiety attack. Why are JD and Elizabeth at an event Thomas promised would be for his family? What is she walking into with this mess? This is so not okay. Jennifer straddles the fine line of placating her friend and needing a glass of Chardonnay. Kathryn practices deep breathing techniques as I try to spy Kensie in the backseat with all their baggage.
With the line (potentially) of the season, Kathryn mutters, “Smiling faces, beautiful places…welcome to South Carolina,” before exiting the Maserati. Goodness how I’ve missed that motto! The adorable Kensie toddles her way over to the hospitality tent, and my sleuthing skills are at a ten out of ten. Those director’s chairs are emblazoned with Brookland Plantation. That makes a bit more sense than Brooklyn! My bad. The nanny wrangles Kensie as Elizabeth and JD attempt to compliment Kathryn while pretending they’re not enveloped in a big old fiasco of awkwardness. True to form (and you have to respect her for not being fake), Kathryn meets their advances with eye rolls and passive aggression. She’s ready to get the heck out of Brookyn Brookland.
Kathryn hightails it to a porta-potty as Elizabeth coos over her goddaughter. Upon witnessing this scene, Kathryn announces that she’s over it. She’s not going to be a part of this fake azz bullshiz. JD and Elizabeth question Jennifer about why Kathryn is so upset, Jennifer likens her friend’s emotional state to that of a nuclear fallout. Elizabeth approaches Kathryn and promises to remove anything offensive (ie, alcohol) from the tent to make Kathryn more comfortable. Having a mini-meltdown, Kathryn decides it’s time to go. If T-Rav wants to play checkers, Kathryn is fully prepared to play chess. Jennifer chugs her wine and bids farewell to JD and Elizabeth before being forced to peel off the polo field.
Thomas dismounts his horse and seems genuinely befuddled by this turn of events. It’s never a good episode when I’m left feeling sympathy for T-Rav! But, alas, I truly do. JD and Elizabeth share that Kathryn felt unhappy with the atmosphere, and Thomas hates that his daughter was punished from spending time with her father. Thomas tries calling Kathryn but is met with straight-to-voicemail. As he strips down from his polo gear and mic, Thomas vows to get even. If he can’t see his baby, maybe Kathryn doesn’t need a co-signer to get her out of her parents’ home. And there he is!
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? WAS KATHRYN’S TANTRUM AT BROOKLAND WARRANTED?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
