Take us back to dock, Jimmy Buffett…”I used to rule my world from a pay phone and ships out on the sea; but now times are rough, and I got too much stuff–can’t explain the likes of me. But there’s this one particular harbor, so far but yet so near; where I see the days as they fade away, and finally disappear.” Thanks for joining us for Below Deck’s final voyage on the Eros, at least for this season. Can we say cray-cray? Thank goodness Captain Lee Rosbach was able to keep is alpha cool among all the chaos!
The episode begins with Amy Johnson and Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow warning Emile Kotze that confronting Eddie Lucas about his spin cycle affair with Rocky is a bad idea. Well, Amy is doing most of the warning…Rocky is licking her chops and trying to hide her “my plan is working!” grin. Rocky then asks is Amy is jealous of laundry room liaisons with Eddie given Amy’s long-time crush on the bosun. There’s nothing like salt in the wound, right readers? The confusing charter guests are in full swing. Who are these girls? Why did these two guys who are clearly getting nada from their ladies paying for them to be on a chartered yacht? The girls look at the two primary guests as photographers who can capture their every moment flanked by Emile and Eddie.
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In the galley, a wayward dicing job lands Ben Robinson with a severed finger. He’s grunting and sweating his way through Eddie’s attempts at first aid. The cut is almost to the bone. Rocky timidly approaches Eddie who gives her a shoulder cold enough to end global warming, but Ben takes her under his wing to assist with dinner now that he’s a hand down. The Captain summons Connie Arias to the bridge to meet with him and first officer Dan. She worries she’s in trouble, but Lee is so impressed by Connie he offers her a permanent position on the Eros for its Mediterranean tour. Connie is elated. Could this be a spin-off?
Although Rocky has been angling for a spot in the galley since day one, but she’s less than thrilled to be taking orders from Ben. She doesn’t verbalize her feelings, but she gives ceiling a look so her old friend knows just how miserable she is. Connie shares her exciting news with Eddie and Emile, and she figures Emile isn’t going to take it well. Eddie sings her praises, and Emile plasters on his fake smile. He hates disingenuous Eddie and Connie’s good fortune. In the kitchen, Rocky just wants to create her own menu for the evening, but instead she’s Ben’s do-girl. Amy chirps that Rocky has to be happy that she’s finally doing what she wanted, but instead Rocky is angrily talking to herself (or perhaps trusty ceiling). She passive aggressively chiffonades (listen to me!) some arugula that never wronged her in any way. Ben reminds her that every good chef has to pay their dues…he did for years. She needs to focus on the positive. Amy is hoping her affirmations will seep through Rocky’s thick skull, and Ben knows allowing her to taste their collaboration will soften her attitude a bit. After dinner, the guests ooh and ahh while sending off Chinese lanterns, and Kate Chastain and Amy bask in a season well done and great friendship forged. Kate saved the last lantern for the two of them to release together. I love them both, so it’s great to see them getting along so well.
On the final charter day, Rocky has reverted to her old ways–batting her eyelashes at Ben while joking about being sexually frustrated. It’s the same MO she’s had any time a guy has shown her the slightest positive attention. If she hadn’t been such a whiny, entitled pill all season, I would truly feel sorry for her belief that she needs to engage in this sad behavior. The rest of the crew is chipper as they prepare for breakfast, but Emile and Eddie are butting heads over rank. Amy is concerned that Emile is going to blow up with his hook-up knowledge at any moment, and she hopes that they can at least get the guests off the boat before he explodes. With the season behind them, Amy and Kate hulk off their dress whites to celebrate. As odd as they were, the primary guests leave a generous tip, and Kate compliments the crew for a successful run despite personality differences. Rocky has an epiphany in that moment, realizing that maybe she was an insubordinate brat. She apologizes to Kate and Amy for being a less than stellar third stew. Lee rewards the group with a beach party…after they finish their work, of course!
After such a tumultuous few months, Eddie can’t wait to get on dry land and have a date night with his girlfriend Amy. However, his friend and co-worker Amy is conflicted as to whether she should spill the beans to him about Rocky spilling the beans. Amy pulls Eddie aside, and he’s livid to hear that Rocky is spreading false gossip about him. That’s an Emmy face for sure, Ed. If I hadn’t seen your dalliances with my own eyes, I would actually believe it wasn’t true. Eddie retreats to get to the bottom of the nonsense, leaving Amy to explain his anger to a confused Ben. WTF? Rocky and Eddie? Ben can’t fathom it. Eddie heads to Rocky’s cabin, but she pretends to be asleep and refuses to unlock her door. Eddie quickly gazes back at the camera crew (yes, they are still there; yes, they’ve been there the whole time; and yes, as someone who is an OG of the BD, you should already know their is job is to film your every. Waking. Second.), before snagging some scissors to trigger the lock. That move isn’t at all creepy or overly aggressive…said no one ever!
Eddie berates Rocky for spreading rumors about him when he has a girlfriend as she hides under the covers. Amy intervenes as Eddie swears that nothing ever happened between them. He’s quick to tell all the gawkers that he has no clue why Rocky would say these things. Rocky kicks him out of her room, and Eddie heads to the deck to chain smoke and convince Emile that Rocky is a bat shiz liar. He’s half right. Emile wonders why she’s make up such a story, and Eddie opines that she was probably trying to make Emile jealous given his huge crush on her. “What a complete douchebag,” Emile and I say in unison. Connie is late to the game of telephone, and she refuses to listen to Emile’s wackadoo stories. Rocky is clearly several one sandwiches short of a picnic. Awakened by the drama, Kate converges on Rocky’s cabin wearing a tasteful, yet sexy nightgown. Yes, that was an odd observation, but I would assume they’d all just be sleeping in old t-shirts and sweat pants. Amy suggests that Rocky tell Kate, as the chief stew could provide some insight into the situation. Oh, my bad! Kate is wearing a dress…they are all getting ready to go out for the night. Kate isn’t shocked by Rocky’s admission. Good for Rocky for getting some, and their hook-up certainly explains Rocky’s piss-poor laundry skills.
Most of the Eros crew is trying to put the awkwardness of Rocky and Eddie’s “did they or didn’t they” situation aside, but it’s put a damper on their beach party. Rocky pulls Eddie aside, and he apologizes for hurting her and for starting anything in the first place and for the fact her instinct was to go share their secret with the entire yacht instead of just handling it between the two of them. That was a long sentence to verbalize, “Eddie apologizes for getting caught.” Rocky accepts his apology and gives one of her own. Finally clued in to the fact he’s always being filmed, Eddie discusses how badly he feels for treating Rocky so horribly. The pair hug it out and vow to enjoy their last night as friends. Connie, Amy, and Kate are a step ahead of them, burning their Eros whites in the bonfire. Eddie and Rocky return to the crew where Eddie announces that yes, he and Rocky totally did it. Rocky seconds his confession, cackling that their sex was totally amazing. AMAZING! In fact, if Eddie keeps boozing like he’s doing, Rocky is more than happy to reward him with a blow job. Too far? Captain Lee corners Eddie to dad lecture him. Like all of the viewers, Lee is beyond disappointed in Eddie’s behavior. He expected more. As the Captain heads back to the boat, Eddie announces to his friends that he made a mistake. What? Rocky is no one’s mistake. The duo argue about who initiated their sexy times. Not surprisingly, the tiff makes Eddie look like more of a douche and Rocky look like more of a psycho.
On their final morning, Ben and Kate have a chat fraught with double meanings. They both know they aren’t right for the other, but neither is ready to totally walk away from whatever odd relationship they have. Dave heads out first, and I must say he didn’t get enough screen time. No one is sad to see Emile hit the road, and I love that Kate and Amy are now besties. The season was an epic fail for Eddie, and he’s not looking forward to cleaning up the mess he’s made with his girlfriend. Rocky has the hardest time saying good-bye to ceiling, but she leaves Kate with an icy farewell before diving overboard (fully clothed) for the last time. Ben and Kate cheerfully part ways with Ben is last to go, leaving Lee and Connie to set sail (figuratively) towards the Mediterranean. Also, upgrade! Forget about those dinky WWHL clubhouse sad excuse for reunions from Below Deck past…this season is getting a full-fledged two-part reunion!
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S FINALE? COMMENTS ON HOW EDDIE AND ROCKY HANDLED THEIR SECRET BOOT KNOCKING?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
