Confession time. Despite my line of work, I avoid everything Kim Kardashian and Kanye West as much as humanly possible. But – every once in a while – something Kardashian/West comes across my computer screen that catches my attention and sends me into a raging fit of laughter.
Kanye wants to honeymoon in outer space? Yes, tell me more! Kanye plans to release a THREE HOUR spoken word album? Oh, this is going to be good!
According to Contact Music, Kanye plans to bless us with three hours worth of his rants on the environment, tales of his life with Kim and North, and more. Oh my. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. I can't think of anything worse to listen to for three hours. Err, well, except maybe Taylor Swift singing live.
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The "source" quotes are almost as funny as Kanye thinking we want to listen to him talk about anything for one minute, let alone three hours.
"Kanye loves the sound of his own voice and this will be the ultimate in self-indulgence," says a source. "He has very strong views on everything from music to art to politics and the environment. He's forever recording his opinions on tape."
We should feel lucky to have the opportunity to purchase Kanye's spoken word album. "He says he is doing it for posterity and thought about turning them into a book or even donating them to a museum." I imagine that went like:
Kanye: Hello, is this the Le Louvre? This is Kanye West. *God has chosen me to be the voice and the connector.
Le Louvre: <click>
Kanye: Hello, is this the Smithsonian? This is Kanye West. *Like, I want the world to be better! All I want is positive! All I want is dopeness!
Smithsonian: <click>
Kanye: Hello, is this the world? This is Kanye West. You peasants are about to get a present.
Another source offers, "Kanye likes to push the boundaries and thinks this is very groundbreaking – he is hoping it will win him a Grammy for Best Spoken Word Album."
Kanye plans to release this revolutionary spoken word album on vinyl – but with a "special extended version" available for download. Extended? Isn't three hours punishment enough? Oh, but he's not done yet!
The cherry on top of this narcissistic sundae: "What's more, he's planning on making 24 hours of his speech recordings available to download so fans can listen to his views round the clock."
Jimmy Fallon snarked, "If you're a fan of Kanye, get ready to prove it!"
TELL US – THREE HOURS, EXTENDED VERSION, OR 24 HOUR ACCESS?
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