Aaaahhh… Brandi Glanville. I've almost run out of things to say about the mess that has become Brandi. It's sad at this point. She was always rough around the edges, but it's become abundantly clear that she's pretty much rough all over!
Brandi is still making excuses for her behavior this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I wonder if she can't keep her mouth shut because she needs to open it constantly to insert wine – or her feet. In her latest Bravo blog she continues to place blame and point fingers at Joyce Giraud. These two need to stop talking about each other already. Let's hear what she has to say!
First up Lisa Vanderpump is to blame. Even though Lisa is ruining her reputation trying to be a good friend to Brandi this season, that's still not enough apparently!
"Lisa having a dinner to bring Joyce and I together is ironic because the whole reason we don't get along is because of Lisa and the Hairgate situation." How is that Lisa's fault – JOYCE chose to confront Lisa after Brandi instigated… "Lisa asked me to act as if Joyce didn't exist and now she is throwing a dinner for us? It's all so perplexing."
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"The other thing I find perplexing is that Mohammed and Martin are Lisa's two very best friends and they somehow both know Joyce very well, but Lisa had never known of her or met her. Something seems very fishy." I find Brandi's revisionist history perplexing; Mohamed and Martin admitted to knowing Joyce as acquaintances – something Joyce and Lisa both said. I never heard anyone claim they were all "good friends" except for Brandi.
Continuing on, Brandi still doesn't think it's fair that Michael and Joyce were ganging up on her. Even though everyone ELSE at the table completely had Brandi's back, she is still being ganged up on? OK…
"Having a husband and wife tag team me from across the table was frustrating because I'm one person and I didn't have a husband or partner there backing me up," Brandi whines. "I got up and left out of the frustration from trying to fight with two people who are both yelling at me, making false accusations, and calling me bulls— labels."
Brandi debunks Joyce's accusations that she can't get a man, well at least a serious relationship! It's her trust issues, you guys! Cause Eddie cheated 65 million years ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth!
"I date plenty — maybe even too much — and have zero issues getting a man. The difference between myself and Joyce is that I won't settle," Brandi says. "I have to be physically attracted to the men I date. I want butterflies, chemistry, the whole shebang. If I just wanted to marry some short, rich guy that promised to make me famous I could have done that long ago."
That's not Joyce's only problems though – she also has an eating disorder and needs to stop being the elegance police! "The f-bombs did fly out of my mouth aplenty, but Joyce, with all of her elegance, had no problem saying them right back to me," Brandi recalls.
"Joyce told Yolanda she needed to give me some elegance, because apparently Joyce thinks she is perfect — so much so that her New Year's resolution wasn't about improving herself at all but was about me. Obsessed much? Please Joyce focus on your own issues, of which there are plenty."
Speaking of Yolanda Foster's elegance lessons… Yolanda "told me I need to change the way I communicate. I've never spoken the way I've spoken to Joyce to any of my real friends, Yolanda included. But negative bad people bring out the temperamental, f-bomb-swearing side of me."
Apparently not only is Chica's disappearance to blame but Brandi has some other legal issues.
"Yolanda is very aware of what was going on in my life at this time, unlike most of the rest of the girls. She knows my dad is seriously ill and we are not on speaking terms. She knows the heartbreak I've been dealing with, having Chica my dog disappear and handling my children's devastation from that. There is also a lawsuit from my former landlord and a few other issues I'd rather not make public." DETAILS DETAILS DETAILS!
Switching gears, Brandi is complimentary towards new best friend Kyle Richards' charity runway show, although she thinks Joyce made it all about her. Obsessed much?
"The fashion show was a success and watching Kyle's daughters come out of their shell and take on the runway was super cute," Brandi says. "I did think Joyce took it a little too seriously and forgot we weren't on a pageant stage in some sort of competition. But I guess that's the difference between real runway models and pageant girls. My girlfriends and I got in, did our jobs, and got out." I thought Etirsa was really working it – and looked fabulous!
And finally Brandi comments on Joyce and Lisa's tea. "Lisa and Joyce got together to discuss — what else. . .me. Joyce goes on to say if I can't be cordial to her then I'm just a 'stupid little bitch,'" Brandi reminds us. "I guess that's how classy women talk! But for as stupid as I am supposed to be, guess what? I know what the words chastise and reprimand mean! Just saying!"
In other Brandi nonsense, she says her bad behavior is good TV.
Brandi needs to lay off the excuses, wine, and plastic surgery! She wasn't lying when she named titled her book "And Other Brandi Blunders" (I loathe the word "blunders" by the way. UGH!). We'll see how this shakes out.
[Photo Credit: FayesVision/WENN.com]
TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BRANDI'S BLOG? DOES SHE NEED TO LAY OFF THE EXCUSES OR IS SHE JUST HAVING A REALLY HARD YEAR?
