Erika Jayne isn’t known for being emotional. The longtime cast member of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has often been referred to as the Ice Queen. But even Ice Queens are human.
Now Erika is revealing just how low she was during the scandal that rocked her world and destroyed her marriage. Erika opened up about her suicidal thoughts during her spinoff special, Erika Jayne: Bet It All on Blonde.
Erika questioned why she was here
During the two-hour special, Erika revealed, “There was nothing hopeful on the horizon for years. That’s when you’re like, ‘Well, why am I here?’ I thought about killing myself many times. I would talk to my son, I was like, ‘I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to be here.'”
In December of 2020, Erika’s husband of 20 years Tom Girardi, was accused of embezzling money from the settlement victims he represented. Before the charges, Tom was a well-known, high-powered attorney in California.
Erika was dragged into the onslaught of legal proceedings in the court of law and the court of public opinion. It didn’t help that she had only filed for divorce from Tom one month prior to the bombshell. So the timeline of events struck fans as shady.
“I had to defend myself every day”
In the aftermath of the accusations against Tom, Erika was confronted by her RHOBH castmates about her role in the allegations. In Bet It All On Blonde, Erika told viewers, “I don’t think those girls really cared about how I felt, grieving a marriage and a person you were married to and the idea of that person. They care about their own skin. There was a whole lot of judgment and accusations, repeatedly, over and over again. I had to defend myself every day.”
During her darkest moments, it was Erika’s son Tommy Zizzo, who got her through it. “He was like, ‘Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re gonna dig your heels in and you’re going to fight like a motherf—er and you’re going to show everyone that they were wrong and you were right and then we can have this conversation after that. But until then, you’re going to fight,'” Erika recalled.
Erika Jayne: Bet It All on Blonde is now streaming on Peacock.
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a crisis, please reach out immediately to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741. These services are free and confidential.
