Heather Dubrow
(Photo by Leon Bennett/Getty Images)

Heather Dubrow Calls Ability to ‘Affect Change’ as Parent of a Transgender Child ‘Most Rewarding’

I’m sure it was a difficult choice to publicly share her family’s story, but Real Housewives of Orange County star Heather Dubrow is now grateful she did.

On May 23, Heather spoke to the Alliance For Women In Media Foundation’s 48th Annual Gracie Awards Gala in Los Angeles. Afterward, she shared with People about the challenges of parenting a transgender child.

After revealing that her and Terry Dubrow’s 12-year-old came out as transgender and goes by the name Ace, Heather has been surprised to receive so much positive support. Although some fans accused Fancy Pants of using her youngest child for a storyline, there were others who realized the importance of the subject matter.

Sending a message of love, hope, and support

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“Honestly, the support has been really incredible,” the Consult Beaute creator said. “What’s been most rewarding to me is being able to affect change in other people’s families.”

Ace came out as trans in March 2023. At the time, Heather posted a supportive message. “Ace, we love you so much and we are proud to be your parents,” the RHOC star wrote. “Your brother and sisters love and support you too.”

“Our job as parents is to give our kids a safe and supportive environment so they can grow up as healthy, happy, confident, independent humans,” she wrote. “Since Ace is a 12 year old child … we will let him tell his own story someday if he chooses to do so.”

In addition to Ace, Heather, and Terry are also parents to twins Nick and Maximillia (“Max”), 19, and Kat, 16. While their daughter Max identifies as bisexual, their second daughter Kat is a lesbian. That’s a lot for any parent, but the Dubrows have handled it with love and acceptance. After all, as a parent, all you really want is for your child to be themselves, be happy, and treat others with respect.

“We’ve got four kids,” the Bravo star said. “They are different genders, different sexualities and all … figuring out who they are and where they belong as humans.”

Terry admitted that Ace has “always been incredibly strong-willed” and a “very complex, layered person.” Oh, yes. I remember those days when Heather was driving around town with a toddler screaming in the back seat — not out of unhappiness, but just making noise. Ace always had something to add to the conversation and discovered his voice at an early age.

“Everyone always looked at [Ace],” Heather added, “because [Ace] dresse[d] ‘like a boy’ … I hate those kinds of labels. It’s clothing. Clothing should just be clothing at this point.”

“Billy Porter wears a gorgeous gown down the runway,” she continued. “He looks phenomenal. What does it matter what we’re wearing?”

With the love and support of his parents, Ace has a huge advantage in life. I hope other families will look to the Dubrows as examples of unconditional love and acceptance. We need to look at a person’s character, not what clothes they wear or how they identify. These are the kids we’re talking about. Make the world a kinder place.

TELL US – DO YOU AGREE WITH HEATHER THAT CHILDREN SHOULD BE LOVED AND ACCEPTED FOR WHO THEY ARE? DO YOU HAVE ANY WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT OR SUPPORT TO SHARE WITH THE FAMILY?

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