Last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta went deep into toxic relationships.
Cynthia Bailey is doing anything to make #CHill a permanent arrangement. Cynthia is even cleaning out her closet so she can convince Mike Hill to move to Lake Bailey. Basically she wants to hold Mike captive there, and he would easily be buried alive in the mess that Cynthia calls a closet!
Kenya Moore comes over to do a closet consult and is appalled by the hoarder situation she sees. Cynthia’s closet may be a mess, but her new interview look is sublime!
Kenya is very concerned about the status of #CHill (She is the only one!) Kenya wants to know: is Mike going to propose? Is Cynthia rushing? Is Mike really planning to move to ATL? Is this move taking too long? But Kenya needs to worry about the status of her own non-marriage to Marc Daly. She can read all the Michelle Obama biographies she wants for marital advice, but if Marc isn’t willing to participate, Michelle cannot fix Kenya’s life!
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Meanwhile, Kandi Burruss is dealing with Todd’s ADD approach to businesses and parenting. First Todd randomly bought a tractor trailer? Why? To haul all his bullshit and secrets away from the streets? Now Todd wants to open two more restaurants, but in the meantime, he’s forgotten he has daughters. He’s not speaking to Kaela even though she lives in their house, and he can’t seem to remember that they have a baby on the way. Kandi complains to Carmon that Todd’s ambition for what Kandi’s bank account can accomplish is stressing her out. Kandi’s one to talk though – she just launched a lipstick line and is always running around trying to start plays, and launch a million projects.
Kandi biggest concern though is that she doesn’t know if she and Todd can be on the same page with parenting. They both make all the decisions when it comes to their children from previous relationships, but Kandi spoils Riley while Todd ignores Kaela. When it comes to Ace, Todd is involved, but Kandi worries that their differing parenting styles could create mayhem.
For instance Todd skips town for another ‘business venture’ on the day Kaela permanently moves to NYC, leaving Kandi to take her to airport. Even though Kandi and Kaela have a distanced relationship. Kaela can’t even remember if Todd said goodbye before he left. Remember when we all liked Todd? Yeah, now I understand what Mama Joyce saw.
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On the bright side, Kandi’s interview look is also amazing. I love her with short hair.
And then there is Porsha Williams. Oh Porsha… For some odd reason Marlo Hampton is still around, but Bravo is really making her work for her screen time by forcing her to rent one of those party pedal bikes to cruise around Atlanta in the mid-afternoon heat. I am so confused by this – the operative word is “party,” yet it is only Porsha and Marlo on the bike. Did the other women refuse to attend after the fiasco that was the wig launch? Predictably Kenya is unrepentant after her band stunt, and Cynthia is now questioning her friendship with Marlo and wondering if she’s the one who secretly recorded her and sent it to NeNe Leakes. Until Cynthia has answers, Marlo is enemy number one.
Despite her own issues with NeNe, Porsha still considers Marlo her ride or die. Literally. For the party bike, party of 2 outing, Marlo is wearing a full sequined outfit with a crop top that doesn’t cover her boobs. The underboob is flying out.
Porsha and Marlo are not only drinking, but smoking a hookah too. It’s a good thing there is a backup battery on this bike because otherwise they never would’ve made it to The Hot Dog Factory to stalk Dennis McKinley enabling Marlo to enact her plan to get Porsha and Dennis back together again.
Marlo needs to quit with the diplomacy act. Marlo cannot put these Humpty Dumpty relationships back together again. On the bike she complains that Porsha isn’t being more open with the group about what’s going on with Dennis, but it’s hard for Porsha to even talk about it given that she’s so confused about what to even feel.
Somehow this becomes about why Porsha isn’t giving Nene another chance at friendship. Um, maybe because NeNe is an unrepentant jerk who called Porsha fat days after she had given birth?! Also when did Marlo become the ambassador to NeNe Island? She needs to be recalled for Fashion Rights violations.
Marlo wants Porsha to be like Michelle Obama and go high even when NeNe goes low, but Porsha’s political acumen got run over by the Underground Railroad. Everyone needs to stop referencing Michelle Obama! She doesn’t have anything to say about Real Housewives Of Atlanta.
But at least is Porsha is going to stand her ground – she’s not going to let Dennis OR NeNe mistreat her. Fool her once, shame on you; fool her 5 times; shame on you. Well in theory, because the next thing Porsha knows the party bike is pulling up in front of Dennis’ hot dog store and as if in a trance Porsha moves towards. The thing she misses most about Dennis is free hot dogs after all!
Marlo is obsessed with Dennis! She’s about to climb into Dennis’ bun now that Porsha has vacated it, and she is acting like the man did nothing wrong by cheating on his pregnant fiancé. This, and her friendship with NeNe, tells you all you need to know about Marlo’s standards…
Speaking of, NeNe has her life coach over for cocktails so she can be reassured that nothing is ever her fault. NeNe is on a “self-healing journey,” which means her ever selfless friends need to understand that it’s still all about NeNe as she’s working on herself. As part of that process NeNe cannot apologize until she’s certain the apology is deserved. How convenient! Essentially NeNe only wants her friends for what they can do for her and it’s their fault she has been iced from the friend group.
NeNe is re-writing history to make herself the victim, but we SEE her. Since no one understands her journey NeNe isn’t sure she can trust her vulnerable emotional state on the girls trip to Canada. Meaning that away on a trip NeNe’s former fiends will have ample time to CALL HER ASS OUT when she can’t run away. Just shut up NeNe and stop secretly recording your friends!
Cynthia and Mike meet Eva Marcille and her Mike for dinner at some weird bowling alley that involves throwing footballs at bowling pins. I did not get it. The talk of the table is the secret recording session NeNe made of Cynthia supposedly talking crap. Mike is a defense attorney and although NeNe is shady as hell and a terrible friend, she didn’t break the law by having Cynthia recorded.
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Yovanna denied being the culprit, but Cynthia ins’t so sure she’s telling the truth. Her other pick is, of course, Marlo. Eva is convinced that Marlo is the one, but is she?
Then they play Mikes Vs. The Models to determine if Cynthia will move to LA (and give up her only lucrative job), or Mike will move to ATL. The loser moves. Obviously Cynthia loses. So Real Housewives Of Orange County time?
With her marriage in dire straights Kenya goes to an attorney to see about putting all her assets in a trust for Brooklyn in case Marc kills her Lifetime Movie style she dies. Kenya is basically afraid Marc will get her money and nothing will be leftover for her daughter. Marc didn’t want a prenup so there is nothing protecting Brooklyn except for Kenya, and Marc also has other kids plus several businesses. The attorney is no nonsense, but Kenya is a ball of tears as she admits she doesn’t even have anyone to put as the executor of her will because Marc can’t even be trusted to be her medical proxy. Um, where’s Aunt Lori?!
Lastly Porsha and Dennis go to therapy to try and decide if they can try to give their relationship another chance. At first it was HELL NO because Dennis kept referring to his cheating as “a mistake” when it was calculated and orchestrated. Porsha cannot even begin to forgive until he takes full accountability in admitting that it was a choice. YES, Porsha.
How refreshing to see that therapy is working for Porsha. Contrast that to how it has not worked for NeNe.
Dennis blames a difficult pregnancy and awkward postpartum/pregnancy non sex for the reason he stepped out, but Porsha is horrified and disgusted. (ME TOO!) Mostly she’s angry and disappointed. After a lot of real-talk yelling and some apologizing from Dennis, Porsha agrees to consider trusting Dennis again, but she will not let PJ see her mother disrespected by her father nor will she let her daughter grow up in a house of “Fake love,” so Dennis either has to make the choice to be faithful or they will work towards peaceful co-parenting and that’s it. Good for Porsha!
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Dennis promises he wants to be a family, and Porsha seems pleased to be working towards reconciliation. I don’t think this is a good idea, but I understand her wanting their family in tact. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. And probably also read the Michelle Obama book.
TELL US – DO YOU THINK DENNIS CAN BE TRUSTED?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
