So far everyone is getting along on Real Housewives Of Atlanta, and it’s super nice. There’s a genuine energy to the show this season, as if the women are making a concerted effort to put the negativity behind them. Perhaps supporting NeNe Leakes has brought them together… But for how long? This is Real Housewives of Atlanta, after all. The peace won’t last for too long.
I do hope y’all are buckled up this season because Porsha Williams is already driving us crazy with the ‘Dennis this… ; Dennis that… Did you know Dennis uses the most perfect toothbrush ever. Those bristles were too soft; my bristles were too hard, but Dennis’s bristles are just right!
Alas, the same cannot be said about Dennis’s timing with engagement rings! Dennis took Porsha to Miami for her birthday. Just when she thought he was about to pop the question he handed her a diamond-studded watch. Yay… NOT. All the fancy dinners and chokers which choke so she can’t swallow (which may be important in the relationship department!) don’t matter at all because what Porsha reallyreallyreally wants is a RING. I can’t decide if I want to Dennis to propose so we can stop hearing about it already. Then again, once Porsha gets engaged we’ll be hearing about the wedding nonstop…
Also let’s talk about Dennis! Something about him is giving me pause….I think it’s that he never actually says anything straight. Actually everything about these two is making me gag like I’m wearing a too-tight choker while trying to eat gourmet food and yell MARRY ME at the same time. Anyway, they have their first fight over, off all things, a toothbrush. Except a toothbrush, obviously isn’t just a toothbrush! It’s a symbol of trust, connectedness, and boundaries.
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Porsha doesn’t think it’s a big deal to share a toothbrush with her man. Dennis disagrees. She came to Miami with about 200 bags, but forgot her own toothbrush, so she sends him out to get her one, but it’s too “soft” – something a man NEVER likes to hear – and she demands he share his, but he refused. The real reason she wanted his toothbrush was to snoop through his suitcase for an engagement ring. She couldn’t find it. Then, they got in an argument about Dennis going out at 1am and not coming home until 4:30 when Porsha actually texted him to see where he was.
This sounds extremely suspicious. Dennis claims he was downstairs in the hotel bar with his homeboy. Clearly, Porsha doesn’t entirely believes him but decides, “Ignorance is bliss” since she is so happy happy happy otherwise. Dennis leaves so everyone can cool off (although Dennis never appeared to actually get upset). Porsha immediately regrets not hiding her crazy better. “I gotta get it together,” she self-talks, as she emotionally eats cold eggs, waiting for his return. The second Dennis walks through the door she is apologizing and all over him the way a cat rubs your legs when it wants food.
Here is the thing I realized, Dennis is Kordell 2.0. Meaning Porsha has the same relationship with him that she did with Kordell. He’s in control, she’s always trying to make him happy by hiding who she is. Girl, this is not a good idea. You are wearing a wig the color of tabasco sauce and rubbing your tartar with the man’s toothbrush – the crazy flag is out, so embrace it!
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Meanwhile, across town NeNe is juggling Gregg Leakes’ cancer, the opening of her new Miami boutique, Swaggalicious, and preparing for her first comedy gig since Gregg’s diagnosis. “I’m just trying to keep my wig above water,” she admits, and to do so she is focusing on hustling in secret. NeNe explains, “After all these years I’ve learned to move silently.” And make those coins!
The other Housewives are also moving quietly… to Miami where they’ll surprise NeNe at her comedy show. She is expecting Porsha, and hoping Dennis will make an appearance, but instead she’ll get Marlo Hampton and all her extra crispy over-done too much extra. Marlo and Kandi Burruss both make it abundantly clear they are here for NeNe, not because Porsha invited them and they will keep their interactions with her minimal.
Right away there is drama over the rooms. Of course. Porsha booked a boutique hotel, pre-chose the rooms, and left everyone a personalized notes. “Anyone who complains about the size of their room is a selfish bitch,” she declares with a smirk. Cue Marlo bitching and even calling the front desk to request something bigger as Eva Marcille rolls her eyes that Marlo takes her extra too far. What does Marlo need more space for? This trip is TWO DAYS. Is she planning to hide some bodies in there?
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Marlo notices an elevator inside her room that leads straight to the penthouse . Porsha reserved the penthouse for herself. This makes sense since she is the hostess and all. Right away Marlo tells the bellhop that Porsha’s room is actually downstairs and she arranges all of her items all over the room. “Considering that last year these two almost came to blows over a doormat, I don’t know what’s gonna happen if they fight over rooms,” laughs Cynthia Bailey. Did I mention that Marlo is wearing some outfit that looks like an Andy Warhol comic book with about a million neon-colored heads stretched across everything. That is ‘lounge wear’.. if you’re in whatever profession Marlo is in.
Taking her cues form Marlo, Porsha is wearing streetwear that looks like lingerie to the comedy show. NeNe is excited to see Porsha, but then around the corner comes the rest of the group. Cynthia predicted NeNe would read her for lying about coming to Miami and she was right, but it was a good read. NeNe is thrilled. Then everyone prays for Gregg’s health and NeNe’s success. It was sweet. And like NeNe said, “Everybody loves Gregg, even if they may not love his wife.” No truer words…
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NeNe and Gregg are finding support wherever they go. On their comedy tour, which has all female comedians, the women also rally around Gregg. NeNe admits it’s been hard, but Gregg is determined to keep his life as normal as possible because if your mind goes dark the rest of you follows.
After the show the women all go for dinner and drinks at the hotel, and NeNe is shocked to see Porsha and Marlo getting along. She always knew they would eventually connect, considering they’re essentially the same person. They even have the same weave in different colors: one red; one black – like checkers. Complimentary but opposing. Porsha is still keeping quiet about Dennis, but she does open up about the fancy jewelry he gave her and the toothbrush fight. No one – NO ONE – is on Porsha’s side in sharing a toothbrush. Girl, it’s about sanitation!
Kandi cautions Porsha about pushing the marriage thing too far, but Porsha is not interested in hearing it. The next morning Kandi tells Todd Tucker she’s not going to be the one revealing any incriminating information about Dennis. Also, did a mermaid pass out on Kandi’s bed? Or was that a spare weave?
While Kandi thinks Porsha is making a mistake jumping into a serious relationship too soon, Cynthia is inspired to tell Mike Hill she has similar expectations. Hint, Hint!
And in the penthouse suite, Porsha has shoved Marlo back to the peasants room where she belongs, but has kept all Marlo’s stuff. Marlo will not go quietly though. She took it upon herself to invite her glamsquad up the penthouse, and ordered breakfast, where she finds Porsha decked out in a shower cap and stretching out Marlo’s Versace Face Suit with her extra-large booty.
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Far from fighting, though, these two are on the path to becoming best friends! They did late-night in the club where Marlo ended up being the first one to meet Dennis and she LOVES him. Porsha and Marlo both agree they just got off on the wrong designer-shoed foot last season, but that’s all behind them!
Then all the women, led by Cynthia, decide to walk the 2 blocks to the grand opening of NeNe’s boutique. After about 5 minutes in the Miami heat, Marlo (who is wearing a wool hat and some sort of ginormous poncho thing) is sweating to death and flagging random cars down to ask if they’re Uber. Porsha nearly has the vapors as her feet squelch in her super high sandals and her boobs ooze sweat. But shopping is a great restorative tonic!
Swaggalicious is packed with bodies buying all manner of Curated By NeNe goods. Gregg is overwhelmed and retreats to get some air. The Housewives come together. They all hover over him, hand him water, fan him, and try to impress him with jokes. It was the perfect reaction. Gregg deserves all the fussing.
NeNe admits that although it’s hard, she re-took those vows and she will be buy Gregg’s side in sickness and health, no matter what.
TELL US – WILL MARLO AND PORSHA’S FRIENDSHIP LAST? IS PORSHA MOVING TOO FAST WITH DENNIS? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA SEASON 11 SO FAR?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
