The moment we have all been waiting for is finally here: on tonight’s episode of Shahs of Sunset, we finally get to see the nuptials of former runaway groom Reza Farahan and his long-time boyfriend, Adam Neely. It’s a moment that has been highly anticipated by both viewers and the Shahs since last season’s shocker of Reza calling off their wedding in Thailand. There is only one person who hasn’t been anxiously awaiting this wedding – the other groom, Adam. Because he has NO IDEA this is happening. That’s right folks, you’re invited to an ambush wedding!
To lovingly set the stage of “marriages that shouldn’t happen,” we open with the not-that-sad Shoe Sultan, Mike Shouhed. It’s not even six months into his marriage to Jessica Parido and she has hit the trails in search of greener, less cheating grass. Reza stops by with bags of groceries and wants to know why Jessica left. Mike explains that he has been rude and neglectful of her and she decided that’s not the type of life she wants. Mike says he doesn’t blame her for teaching him a lesson. Clearly, Mike is feeling sorry for himself, and while Mike’s busy talking about how wonderful Jessica is, doesn’t mind throwing her under the bus by acting like she walked out over some trivial matter.
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And what does every husband do on the brink of his beloved wife leaving him because she’s upset? Go out with resident single-guy, Shervin Roohparvar, of course! Reza (like the viewers) won’t let Mike off the hook so easily and tells him to get his head right – he should not be out partying when his marriage is in distress. Reza was doing really well there as a friend until he starts getting all teary over the fact that he’s getting married this weekend (never mind that Adam doesn’t know!) and he wants to be happy instead of having the divorce talk with Mike. Maybe Reza should be having the MARRIAGE talk with his unsuspecting groom-to-be! Mike’s cheating heart aches for Jessica after all this wedding talk so he vows to see her and apologize.
Time to lighten up with Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi and her cousin, Nima. GG describes herself as “silly” and “fun” and wanting to get back to her “little kid roots.” That’s who she really is, not the slurring, knife-wielding psycho that we are used to seeing after FIVE seasons of her on the show. Nima brings monkey suits and the staged goofiness continues. I would have liked to snooze through that interlude of episode filler. So I’m supposed to believe GG is cured now and has traded in her alcohol and ciggs for monkey suits and an Alexis Bellino-owned Sky Zone? Nope, not buying it.
Reza brings Asa Soltan Rahmati to a tailor to get some wedding duds and even the tailor looks like he thinks this ambush wedding is a bad idea when Reza explains the circumstances. Reza then likens his “cheating on his man skills” to his being able to “hide a wedding from same man skills.” Just when I couldn’t take any more of this nonsense talk, we find relief in the spotted spandex vision that is Mercedes “MJ” Javid. Reza explains the plan to her: everyone will be coming to Palm Springs for what Adam thinks is a housewarming party, they will have a great time, go out to dinner, and BOOM – ambush wedding! MJ is trying to hold back on her disapproval and instead says she just wants to be included. I’m imagining the tailor in the background shaking his head at this lunacy.
It’s time to hit the road and Asa and Reza have convinced Adam to come to Palm Springs, although they make the trip without him. They find themselves at the drive-thru again and in between bites of cheeseburger, wax poetic about how much calmer Reza is for this wedding. You know, the ambush one, NOT the one he ditched out on last year. Aside from my craving for a cheeseburger now, I’m completely shocked at the lack of awareness in both Reza and Asa when it comes to this whole wedding thing and Adam’s possible feelings. There is really no mention of anything outside of how Reza feels and what Reza wants to happen. I can understand Reza being self-centered like he always is but I thought Asa, as a spiritual-pop-princess-priestess-whatever-she-calls-herself (not to mention, Adam’s close friend), would be more in tune to the fact that this is totally selfish of Reza.
Back in L.A., Mike just can’t stop missing Jessica or wearing stupid hats. He shows up to his meeting with Jessica in a dumb gray felt hat and orders a shot of Patrón while he waits to beg for her forgiveness. Jessica doesn’t look like she’s in the forgiving mood and this is a super awkward meeting to be having in public (and on camera).
Jessica thinks that Mike is too worried about providing her with material things ($5K tea sets!) and she just wants the old Mike back, the one who doesn’t care about that stuff. Mike doesn’t help himself by saying he always cared about that stuff. We finally get to hear from Jessica herself and she says that they had underlying issues before they got married (duh) in the form of trust (DUH). It’s kind of exhausting to hear everyone dance around the issue of Mike’s cheating but we’re still doing it. Mike makes a serious plea to get Jessica back and she’s not having it. Mike admits that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone and watches Jessica hop an Uber to a better life that doesn’t include him.
Back at the Palm Springs Housewarming Party/Ambush Wedding, the festivities are in full swing and everyone is wondering if Mike will show. He does, and everyone jockeys for his attention, including MJ, who has been picking on Mike about his marriage since he confided in her that Jessica left. Like all good homeowners, Reza has rented a separate house for all of his friends because he doesn’t trust his own 40 something crew to not destroy his place.
As they enjoy drinks and pool time, the talk turns to MJ’s relationship with lovable lug, Tommy Feight, and the crew doesn’t think it passes the smell test. Although Mike can’t keep his own relationship on track, he’s doling out advice like his marriage isn’t in the shitter and tells MJ that something isn’t right when a guy shows up saying “I love you” and wanting to have a baby right away. That’s right, MJ, take note – relationships according to Mike’s plan mean a much slower progression of cheating for years, then getting married anyway and continuing to cheat while racking up financial debt in the form of green smoothies and data overage-riddled phone bills. MJ pushes to make this a deeper conversation about what’s going on with Mike but he doesn’t take the bait and storms off to bed, drink in hand.
The next day, Reza, Asa, and MJ head to an estate sale to pick out a ring for Adam and the rest of the crew relaxes at the pool to day drink. Tommy shows up to surprise MJ and even came dressed for the occasion. Reza is back at his own house with an algae mask and one worry: himself and his feelings. OK, two worries. It’s really hitting him that HE’s getting married and HE is nervous because it’s such a big moment for HIM. Reza admits he doesn’t like not knowing what Adam will say. So now Reza is being selfish about his own selfishness! Run, Adam, Run!
The Shahs all head to the restaurant/ambush wedding venue and Reza is barfing in the bathroom with what we can only imagine is happiness or anxiety. One of those two. The moment has come and Reza starts to make a not-so-touching speech about his relationship with Adam, which includes romantic tidbits about being naked and public sex on hiking trails. I think Adam is assuming this is another proposal but Asa whips out her gold and glue gunned homemade turban and I can literally see the panic in Adam’s eyes as she approaches them to start reading vows. Reza immediately says yes and Adam understandably, stalls in the moment. He tries to speak with Asa privately and instead she snaps “It’s ‘I do or I don’t,'” which is probably the least romantic thing you could hear at your own surprise wedding.
Adam finally says yes and it looks like no one can believe he did, including Adam himself. Adam is still trying to recover as Reza shoves his mustache in his face, aggressively looking for a kiss. The camera catches Tommy nuzzling MJ and whispering, “We’re next.” The celebration begins and Mike reflects sadly on his marriage while watching another one start under shady circumstances. Don’t worry, Mike, you probably won’t be the only one on The Island of Effed Up Marriages for long.
TELL US – THE AMBUSH WEDDING: SWEET OR SELFISH?
Photo Credit: Bravo
Author: Karen
