Last night's Mob Wives was a lot more tricks than treats as friendships were tested and costumes were thrown by the wayside. Who needs to be dressed up as an actual person or thing when you can throw on black angel wings, red contact lenses, and a lace thong?
At Big Ang's house, Renee Graziano stops in share her recent showdown with Alicia diMichele Garofalo. Renee thinks that Alicia has been as fake as can be since the get-go. Meanwhile, in Philly, Alicia is telling her side of the story to Natalie Guercio. Renee's side of the story is much more dramatic than the actual event, but she tries to explain to Ang that there has always been something about Alicia she's disliked. Doesn't she understand that you don't throw around the term "rat"? Ang hopes that Alicia can learn to filter through all the gossip she hears.
Natalie has invited Alicia, Ang, and Drita D'avanzo to go to the pumpkin patch in preparation for Halloween. The women are scaring themselves silly in a haunted corn field. It's all in a day's work for Natalie since she works in a funeral home. Really it's just a bunch of fake dead bodies sprawled around everywhere. I could have also gone without with Natalie and Ang's sex ed lesson with gourds. Natalie invites the ladies to a Halloween party at her funeral home. She's going to set up a bar in an actual casket. "That's so cute" squeals Drita until she finds out the location. Natalie wonders if she should invite Renee, and Alicia believes that it's good for her friend to be the bigger person.
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Renee is meeting her sweet son A.J. for lunch, and she's grilling him about his current relationship. She got engaged super quickly when she was twenty, but she hopes that her nineteen-year-old son will put on the brakes. A.J. tells Renee that he is thinking about moving in with his girlfriend. Um no. He's not allowed to move out of Renee's house. Renee then decides to fill in her son on her personal life, although he clearly doesn't want to hear it. Can you blame him? She hopes she's establishing him with enough of a financial cushion that he won't turn to a life of crime. I think she could leave A.J. totally penniless and this kid will end up on top…the right way. I adore A.J.
Drita is freaking out about the opportunity to work with Method Man. She's been laying down some beats (because that's a thing, right?), and while she may have the rhymes, her delivery is lacking. Thankfully, she is interrupted by Method Man himself. Drita goes totally fangirl with her screaming and crying and hugging. It's like the WuTang One Direction. I have to laugh at Drita's ability to make fun of herself when she jokes, "At least I played it cool when I met him." When it's time to perform in front of her idol, she does a better job. Method Man gives her some good constructive criticism…and Drita's paper is shaking like a leaf. She's thrilled to be getting mentored by Method Man. Drita's dream is to wrap herself around the rapper's head like a spider monkey. It's so cute to watch.
Ang and husband Neil are chatting about having a baby. If she were to get pregnant right away, she'd be fifty-four by the time she birthed the kids. It's settled then. A surrogate it is! They start coming up with their personal ad for an egg donor. I'm sure the Drunken Monkey patrons love eavesdropping on this conversation.
Renee is in shock to hear a voicemail from Natalie inviting her to the Halloween party. The invitation is so insincere. Renee doesn't like her. She doesn't feel welcome. Seriously? This drama that Renee concocts is exhausting. The nerve of Natalie calling to invite her to a party with "the girls" after their fake apologies in Vegas! Renee isn't falling into this trap…she's too busy focusing on her therapy and journaling. She's serious, isn't she? Oh gracious!
In Philly, a lingerie clad Natalie is putting the finishing touches on the funeral home decorations. She's dressed as a whore Purgatory. Even Drita is shocked at Natalie's lack of clothing…and that's saying something as I think Drita is dressed as a Bratz doll. I love that Drita calls her "naked Natalie." Natalie shares a novel-length text from Renee regarding her party invitation, but Natalie doesn't feel like reading the whole thing because she can't read. Drita is appalled to read that Renee felt like Vegas was a "set-up" by all the other girls. Renee knew she planned to confront Natalie before the trip took place. Alicia arrives working some major Wonder Woman gear. Drita reveals that her daughter picked out her costume to resemble her favorite doll. Ding, ding, ding! I can't believe I was right! Ang and Neil are my favorite pair of zombies ever. Drita reveals Renee's text message to Ang, and Ang feels the same way as Drita. Excuses, excuses. The set-up accusation is insulting to Renee's friends and their loyalty.
Drita and Ang leave the party to bitch about Renee over Virginia Slims. Why is Renee trying to alienate her two best friends? Just because they can get along with everyone and she can't doesn't mean they are against her. I have to agree with Drita on this front. The following day, the two women head to Renee's house to clear the air. Drita questions Renee about whether she feels that her two best friends "set her up" in Vegas. As they confront her, all Renee can say is that she doesn't feel comfortable around Natalie for the sake of her sobriety. Um, isn't it a little late for that? Drita and Ang are prepared to take Renee's reasoning at face value, but they are curious as to how Renee can say she never liked Alicia when she's the one who brought her into the group. Renee shuts down the conversation, and Drita hates that she and Ang are stuck in the middle. I will say that Renee may want to think twice before inferring that Drita and Ang are good at being fake!
TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE? ARE WE GOING TO SEE A SHOWDOWN BETWEEN DRITA AND RENEE?
[Photo Credit: VH1]
