Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta the ladies took Porsha Stewart to task for being ridiculous – and well, she needs it!
Phaedra Parks is still reeling over Chuck-gate. Lest you forget he accused her of being a member of the Big Homie Team. As it turns out the only thing big about Chuck is his forehead and his ego. He's actually more like a little homie, or as Phaedra tells Kandi Burruss: "bitesized brownies and a cocktail sausage." Ouch.
Kandi is shocked that Chuck would classify their relationship so falsely, I'm shocked her chunky little dog is eating Pringles. Seriously – what adult purchases Pringles? Phaedra wonders if Kandi's dog needs a Colt 45 to go with his "ghetto" snack. She also calls Chuck a pig. Because he is one.
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Cynthia Bailey's sister Malorie apparently came to Atlanta not to patch things up with Cynthia, but to hawk her jewelry line. Seriously – even people who are Housewives "extras" are going all Bravo Home Shopping Network now? This has to stop! Peter is still pretty annoyed that Mal has infiltrated especially since they're arguing all the time. He's even more angry when he learns that Cynthia has dished to Malorie that their sex life is as non-existent as their income.
Mal immediately jumps into the role of marriage counselor as she mediates between Cynthia and Peter about how much they do it and their communication issues. Cynthia says she wants to be the girl Peter married, he seconds he wants the girl with sass back, but I think Peter and his crap has worn her down and it shows.
Kenya Moore's dad is in town. And oh lord is he as much of a piece of work as his daughter! Immediately upon getting into the car he tells her she has ashy feet – someone has obviously been talking to Porsha. Kenya invited her father because she wants to reach peace with her past, especially her mother's abandonment.
Kenya's dad is not particularly supportive. Kenya's parents were 16 when she was born and her father's mother raised Kenya. Her mother decided to just pretend she never had a daughter. Kenya is a real nut, but given her parents I feel really badly for her.
Also dealing with family complications is Kandi. She and Todd are hard at work writing, directing, and producing a play but Todd is still looking for other jobs. He tells Kandi he got a call about producing a travel show which would take him out of the country for 6 months. Kandi gets extremely emotional as she confronts him over wanting to pursue this instead of pursuing something they build together for their future.
Kandi is confused about why he would consider taking a job where he's gone for half the year. I think they are both seriously stressed out by the pressures Kandi's mother is placing on them with all her crazy and Todd is probably also feeling like she's labeling him as a loser who can't support a family.
Kandi and Phaedra then drive 50 minutes to Porsha's new rental. Phaedra cannot understand why a single girl wants to live in the suburbs in a massive ridiculous mansion all by herself. Porsha says she likes the quiet. Phaedra wonders if its so quiet because she can't afford the bills and the cable got turned off.
Porsha claims she's so stressed out she had a panic attack because Kordell wants to "reconciliate" but she doesn't want to. Sound that out with me people: rec-con-CIL-E-ATE. Hooked on Phonics did not work for Porsha! At least she is living in the suburbs where the schools are good because she needs to re-enroll in 8th grade. Porsha probably had a panic attack when she opened the utility bills on her 8000 square foot rental.
Porsha is still arguing with Kordell about a divorce settlement – she wants something and he doesn't want to give anything. It's either going in front of a judge or to trial. Her attorney warns her she doesn't look like a convincing "need" case, meaning she's living in a massive home, wearing all designer, and on RHOA so it does appear she can support herself. In Porsha's mind these are minor details because she "put fabulous aside" in order to completely devote herself to Kordell while they were married.
Back in Atlanta, NeNe Leakes and Cynthia visit Krayonce to "help her paint". NeNe is throwing shade right in the door. She says Kenya's dad doesn't even look related to her – maybe Kenya rented him too. The she comments on Kenya's Bentley and wonders how she got it. "You don't have any money!" NeNe snaps. Kenya hints that it came from her mystery African man. WHO IS KENYA'S INVISIBLE BOYFRIEND?! She so rented that car – just like she rents her men – and maybe even her dad? #StorylinesRUs
Kenya gets her shade in too – she questions NeNe about taking a role in Kandi's play, insinuating she needs a job! NeNe gets all up on her high horse about how she is too busy with "real" acting opportunities to lower herself to Kandi's play. NeNe being shady about Kandi's success is ridiculous – she wishes she were that successful, but instead she was canceled boo boo. Now she's back in Atlanta where the only acting she's doing is acting like she's hot shit.
Cynthia hosts a trunk show for Mal's jewelry but it's more like a crunk show with all the bickering, drama, and shade being thrown!
First up Kenya swans in with one of her curtain dresses and gets into it with Malorie because she's overstaying her welcome at Cynthia's house. Kenya never met some drama she didn't lap up like moscato, so when she overhears Cynthia and Mal discussing the extended visit she immediately races over to put her two cents in. Mal obviously didn't watch last season – or did and is looking for some 15 minutes. Kenya handled it well but that's where her good behavior ended!
Porsha hasn't told NeNe she lives in her neighborhood yet because she wants to "surprise" her – is she gonna be peeping tom outside the window in a designer face mask brandishing a bottle of wine? She doesn't want any of the girls revealing her new place of residence. However when NeNe walks in with Mrs. Brownie Bites Cocktail Wienie, Phaedra and Krayonce double-team NeNe and accidentally "spill" Porsha's good news.
Phaedra reveals she was in NeNe's neighborhood cause a friend lives there and Kenya whispers over NeNe's shoulder "Who? Porsha?" Then she twirls away. This girl is too too much! NeNe freaks out and tells Porsha she's a bad friend and Porsha goes in the hallway to cry about how she's having a nervous breakdown. NeNe starts lecturing her on friendship and being too needy.
Realizing she's not the center of attention, Krayonce turns on the kray. She accuses Porsha of milking her divorce situation for sympathy points (co-sign) and yells that this is not "Porsha's Divorce Party".
Realizing the wine is also gone, Krayonce storms out and starts jaywalking through traffic, twirling her big ol' caftan dress through the ghetto and yelling at a car for not stopping to let her pass. "Don't you know who I am?! I am Krayonce! Miss WHO-S-A! Let me pass or I will leave a big ol' cement booty imprint in your hood!" She twirls past the car.
Back inside, Porsha is still crying and whining so Phaedra and Kandi loot up all the remaining snacks and bracelets and sauntered out. I guess Kenya and Porsha's Savannah reconciliate was short-lived.
[Photo Credits: BravoTV.com]
TELL US – IS PORSHA MILKING HER DIVORCE DRAMAM? IS NENE THROWING SHADE AT KANDI'S SUCCESS?
